Hello new subscribers

What a nice reaction to this Amazon show #LastOneLaughing. I dare say when the campaign ends, I might even miss my face on the side of buses. Only one thing for that - go and get Banksy to spray them back on. He can’t be that busy with his political witticisms and his decorative wry eye.

I am loving touring at the moment and trying to embrace each place by doing things that inspire GLEE; jumping in a freezing loch, scaling lego walls at clip n climb, seeing friends and stuffing my gob with the local produce (not a euphemism). In Shewsbury I went to a lovely little Turkish restaurant and got some food poisoning! I think this is karma at play because I had been telling anyone who would listen that I had not been ill for three years, and then Sunday night I get something that humbles me from the bumholes be. I was sick out the hire car window at 70 miles an hour - would not recommend. Just praying that I’ll be back up and at them tomorrow for Cardiff. Just consuming electrolytes and a bloody good think. Part of me wonders if I got sick because I can’t seem to say no to things even when I’m touring five nights a week, so my body stepped in. Clever old bod.

In other news, I have a brilliant new merch company with completely different merch - did somebody say ethical high end?? Of course it’s 100% organic cotton - you shouldn’t wear man made fabrics guys - it lowers your vibration DUH (learnt that on instagram so yeah I think it is based in science). I’m going to have to do something with my truck load of polyester pants. I’ll send them to a local pervert for Cancer Research (easier than hosting an afternoon tea ).

A lot of people have been running at me and saying ‘Naughty Tortie’ and so there is a Naughty Tortie teeshirt coming very soon. And that’s what happens when ‘ART’ meets ‘CAPITALISM’. All merch here

Well done for reading this far, and finally, here’s Mel B and I trying to recreate some TikTok trends.