A lot of recommendations

From your favourite dick magnet

Well, last time, I checked, it was high time for a newsletter! I've just found a little key on my keyboard which dictates the stuff… from gob to page! You might have one too, its on F5 for me. In many ways, it’s always been F5 for me. 

So I'm laying in bed talking to my computer. Is this love? 

Anyway, so much to discuss old friend. Starting with, I went to see Paul Foot’s show and it was terrific, go and see it if you can. Tickets are here it’s a Plosive production and you KNOW how I feel about Plosive (heart emojis and whatnot basically). 

The long and short of it is, Paul Foot is enlightened. Bloody heck! I love to see it. Am I envious? You bet I am! Seven gurus later, and I’m still shouting at a milk frother. I’m on my third frother now and delighted to report I have a winner and coming in at just £36.99 it is a bargain. That’s nine coffees at a popular high street coffee chain. Not an add, but I got this one - probably made in China - aren’t we all in a way?! 

Talking of envious, Grainne Maguire once coined a phrase ‘friendvious’ which I think is great - it means you want it for them but you want in to. So yeah, I’m friendvious but I want it for everyone. Not least Vladimir Putin et al, amiright?!

Anyway, Paul Foot; his brain just reconfigured itself and BINGO BANGO, he’s enlightened. And now he doesn’t suffer at all now because he’s, I can’t stress this enough… enlightened. I bet he never scrolls through social media thinking ‘what a wally’ about people. Or indeed himself. 

Eckhart Tolle got enlightened in a similar way. Have you read his book The Power of Now yet or what?  Oh you must! What a read. I listen to the audio book about twice a year to remind myself to change my whole personality. 

Anyway what if everyone started popping off and getting enlightened, that would be MEGA COOL. That would be a good film or actually better in RL! Imagine everyone erupting one by one, like popcorn, brains configuring into peace and joy! No egos, no billionaires, no separation, and then we start a new world with totally different priorities. Oh boi, sign me up. Imagine if this was the preamble to get you to join my cult haha.

Oh I also saw John Robins show and I laughed and cried. That guy is a world class stand up. But that’s over now, so good luck seeing that, I wish he’d just do the bastard on Netflix and help us all out. 

Do watch Harriet Kemsley’s show online though as she is divine - very funny bones and I find her very refreshing on the soul. She’s quite simply marvellous. Watch it here.

In other news, I’m having a great time doing Dancing on Ice (we call it DOI in the biz FYI). Anyhow my partner is Brendyn Hatfield and he’s a bit of a laugh and a great teacher, I’m very lucky there - got my perfect dance partner, he flings me around poor luv. And I really like Mark Hanretty too, he’s so elegant, and the good news is, I get to see him and Adele Roberts all the time because we train together. Adele is phenomenal, maybe the best skater and definitely the best human. She’s got a popped rib, a small broken bone in her arm and a stoma and she still skates better and harder than anyone - GO ON GEL! I’ll tell you what’s in tact - her big ole HEEAAARRRRT! 

Anyway so we are twizzling around and its so nice to be in your body and learn something new. I feel as lucky as a nepo baby to be doing the show. I really do. Even though I slammed on my baattttam today, it’s worth every minute, I adore rolling around on the ice. 

Oh and I made bagels from almond flour and yoghurt - I mean what a world. I did vegan yoghurt but you do you honey bunny. Link here but I am not on keto, its just from a keto website when I went to find it. 

Anyhow, I’m writing a new show for a tour (ages away), any topics you’d like discussed? 

Might get a personal trainer to drag me out of bed, but from all accounts, some of them drag you IN to bed! Tony I didn’t want to work on THOSE muscles you little scamp! 

Good lucky on enlightenment and tightenment and not being frightenment. 

My friend got me the best designed t shirts of me with my cats! And to say they are a ‘dick magnet’ is an understatement!